Lab Rat |
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Surgery without health insurance, or how to live outside the box without falling over.
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Saturday, December 07, 2002
Professional Participant... Lab Rat contemplates the alternatives Anne provided some helpful, quelling the fear information on pain studies (see comment on Lab Rat Makes The Call... post), and got me thinking about doing other research studies. She mentioned the HIV vaccine study and the amount of monetary compensation. Lab Rat rattled the bars and shouted, "is it dangerous?" Then she withdrew to the corner of the cage, nestle down in the wood shavings and dreamt of living from one project to the next. I received a brochure via snail mail last week from Johns Hopkins, another research project seeking subjects. This particular project is studying the possible benefits of soy in the diets of menopausal women who are not taking hormone replacement therapy. It is also a paying study. Lab Rat leaps from her wood chip bed, runs over, grabs the bars, standing on her hind feet, nose twitching; she say's, "now that doesn't sound dangerous." Well I'll call about that one on Monday, but I'm also going talk to Anne about the HIV study. "Oh no", she says shaking her head vehemently. Don't worry; I just want to get some more facts. I haven't yet decided, and you know my deciding doesn't necessarily mean we'll be in the study. And anyway, who do you think you are? Mrs. Frisby? So you're thinking of turning professional? Pretty much, although it's not a real cocktail party profession: "What do you do?" "Oh I'm a research subject". "Do you have an IRA, a 401K or an SUV?" "Well no, but I manage to get along." "A long what?" "A footlong for my bunion". Huh? "Good humor is one of the best articles of dress one can wear in society." --William Makepeace Thackeray Wednesday, December 04, 2002
Tuesday, December 03, 2002
or initial phone screening Before being "turned over" to the interviewer I was informed that the study is on pain medication. Hmm... now imagine after surgery you're the one who gets the PLACEBO. There are two studies in progress, a one day and a three day study. The one day study participant is "compensated" with $400.00, and the three day with $1200.00 Passed the initial screening, which included these questions: Do you smoke? yes Would you give it up for a day if you're selected for surgery? yes Do you drink? yes How much? 2 oz. a day Of what? vodka, I usually have 2 cocktails a day Do you do drugs? no Are you willing to have a blood test? yes The first "step" is an appointment with the podiatrist, scheduled for Dec. 10th at 2:45. Birth of Lab Rat... or how it all began. What, or who is Lab Rat? You know those little white furry guys. NOT! Lab rat is me, or what I may find myself being out of necessity. Why? I have these bunions you see. About six weeks ago the one on the left foot started to hurt in the middle of the night, and was painful the next day as well, but then pain stopped. I've had the bunions for years and years with no pain; so needless to say I was much relieved when the pain went away, for my mind had conjured up all kinds of terrible scenarios. In one story I developed a lifelong limp, which progressively got worse, until I found myself in a wheel chair, praying the tendonitis in my elbow wouldn't flare up. When the pain subsided, the stories faded away, but then a few days ago the pain came back, and has not gone away. I think you'd better go to a podiatrist. That's the kicker; (pun intended) I have no health insurance. Then she leaned forward, holding her head in her hands sobbing, "I'm penniless". Penny who? You probably deserve bunions for wearing pointy high heeled shoes. I did not wear pointy high heels, on the other hand, I didn't wear birkenstocks either. I don't deserve them, but there they are nonetheless. What are you going to do? Well, last night I leap painfully from the couch, while repeating a phone number I saw on the television in my head, and dashed into the other room for a pen. The number was an 800 number for a team of researchers in the Baltimore area looking for candidates for FREE bunion surgery. Thus the name Lab Rat. This is where I will record the "step by step" process of being, or not being a research subject. |
